I have had bells palsy two times in
my short 32 years of life. Right before
I turned 20 years old, my mother in law was in town for my sister in laws baby
shower, staying with me. We had a full
day of shopping ahead, so I got up early to get ready for the day. While I was showering, I got shampoo in my
eye, which never happens. I thought I just
must be tired. I finished showering and
got out. While brushing my teeth,
everything was flowing out of the left side of my mouth so I looked in the
mirror and noticed my left eye was super droopy. I tried blinking and nothing. I smiled and no movement. I starred in the mirror for a few minutes,
then went and got my mother in law. The
first thing she said to me was, “what’s wrong with your eye?” I had no feeling on the left side of my
face. I immediately called my doctor; he
had me come in right away. He knew
exactly what it was, but was confused as to why a 19 year old had it. He prescribed me an antibiotic, a steroid and
called me every other day for progress reports.
The pain was excruciating! More than I have ever felt. My ear hurt, my face hurt, my head hurt, and I
was miserable. The head pain was
unbearable; I felt like I had been run over by a truck, it was the worst pain I
had ever endured. I had no feeling on
the left side of my face and shoulder and it lasted about 8 weeks. My facial droop lasted about 4 months.
When I was 10 weeks pregnant with my
second baby, at age 27, I felt it coming on.
I knew it was going to happen and I knew there was nothing I could do to
stop it. I was scared, but what scared
me the most, was that I knew the pain that was coming. I called my doctor right away and he again
prescribed me an antibiotic in hopes it would help, maybe even shorten it. It may have, I don’t know, but this time the
facial pain only lasted about 6 weeks and the facial droop about 5 months. It put me out of commission for about 3
weeks. My mom came every morning. She got my oldest out of bed, fed her, bathed
her, dressed her, played with her, settled her in for a nap and helped with housework. I was so grateful! The pain was terrible! I laid in bed and didn’t move. I cried a lot. All the emotions came back from 8 years
earlier. I was miserable.
Almost 5
years later the things I notice that are different are:
-Memory
loss. I can’t remember much of anything,
it’s so hard. My husband comments all
the time about years back and I just can’t remember them, it’s super
frustrating!
-I slur
my words a lot. I can’t seem to get the
words out. For someone who was so
talkative and quick on the draw, I’m not anymore and the older I get the worse
it gets.
-When
it’s cold outside my lips freeze and won’t move. Not just from being cold, but I can’t
actually get them to form a word. It’s
hard to explain.
-The ear
pain comes and goes, just a little reminder of pain I have tried so hard to
forget.
-My
eyesight went downhill with each episode of bells palsy. My eyes tend to get dry easily and they feel
goopy and heavy at times. I know when
I’m tired and need to get some shuteye.
-I get a
lot of headaches now. Something that I’m
still not used to and hope to never be!
Nothing seems to help them.
-Lastly
the steroids from the first bells palsy made me gain weight, somewhere around
50 pounds. That was probably one of the
hardest things for me because I didn’t know the girl in the mirror. I didn’t like looking at myself. I
worked my butt off for years and finally starting losing the weight with diet
management. One of the hardest things
for me was learning to love myself for who I am. A lot of my strength came through overcoming
this trial.
I’m grateful for my great husband,
family and friends that have been there for me.
It’s rough! It’s something I hope
to never have to go through again and I have that same hope for everyone. I’m stronger from it, and have learned so much about myself. I hope to be a strength for others.
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